Idling wont help because it is the difference of tension that helps it come out of 4wd. Imagine it locked and while you may not notice it, the front and rear drive shafts may have a little tension on it due to turning, terrain or whatever the case may be. When you go to unlock it, that difference in tension can potentially keep it locked until the drive shafts rotate or attempt to rotate at a different speed. Usually when I unlock 4wd, I make sure that I am not into the throttle so I know the front and rear wheels are all rolling together the same and no additional strain is being up on the TC durring unlock. Mine hasnt gotten stuck in 4wd in a really long time and when it did, all I did was rock the wheel back and forth going a couple miles an hour and that slight difference unlocked it right away. Never does it anymore though.
The "rub" noise you hear, does is sound like a creeking or deepish squeal on shutdown. This noise you may be hearing is the turbo actuating. From what I have heard is on the 6.7s on shut down, the slides of the turbo move back and forth to kind of clear any soot. Its another update to help keep the turbo from acting up. Its normal and no big deal at all.