Rules for Entering Montana (Attention California)

Hut · 05-11-2007, 12:35 PM

Rules for Entering MONTANA

1. Pull up your droopy pants. You look like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road". I drive a pickup truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. They are horses, cattle, saw mills & oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like jobs to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-90 and I-94 go East and West, I-15 goes North and South. Pick one.

4. So you have a $60,000 dollar car. We're impressed. We have quarter-million dollar, air conditioned tractors that we drive 3 weeks a year.

5. So every person, in every pickup truck, waves. It's called being friendly, try to understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a flock of geese is coming in, we will shoot the phone out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear.

7. Yeah, we eat walleye & rainbow trout. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday, held the closest Sunday to the first of November.

9. In Montana, it is not trendy and is considered very, very unsafe to criticize the USA. God bless John Wayne, Elvis Presley, Audey Murphy, Cary Grant, Charlton Heston, and Jimmy Stewart but the rest of Hollywood is not welcome here.

10. No, there is not a "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey

11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and Alpine Touch.

12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, & served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

13. High School Football is as important here as the Vikings and the Seattle Seahawks -- And more fun to watch.

14. Colleges? Try Montana State or the University of Montana. They come out of there with an education--Plus a love for God and country.

15. We have a higher percentage of folks in the Navy, Army, Marines, & Air Force than any other state, so "Don't Mess with Montana." If you do, it will get your backend kicked.

16. Many of us are loggers, mill workers, ranchers & miners. For well over a century, we have helped supply beef for your tables, metals for cars, coal for electricity, wood for your homes & paper to wipe your sissyselves. Don't come here and tell us to stop working so you can re-make the whole State into your own no-hunting park.

17. Remember, you came here because Montana is different. It wil be kept that way. We don't need or want more shopping malls, housing developments or juice bars.

18. Don't try to use your imported money to re-make Montana into the image of where you just left. If you feel this need, go back home. And yes we do hate you for buying up all of our lake-front properties.

19. Above all, if you are a lawyer or anti-gun nut, just stay away. We are very aware of the fact that attorneys have created a major industry, out of lawsuits & babying criminals with guns. We are hunters and responsible gun lovers.

20. P.S.--Grizzlies are eagerly encouraged to eat out-of-staters.

__________________
2006 2500 SLT Quad Cab 4x4 LWB AT 3.73 Made in U.S.A. 1/06
aFe Stage 2 w/Amsoil EAAU6081, Edge Juice w/attitude, Nelson 86131M, Amsoil
IBEW Tramp Wireman

CI2019 · 05-11-2007, 12:40 PM

lol Hut.

21. If you don't like the customs and cultures of Montana, park at the border and walk in.

__________________
Jon
2004.5 2500 NV5600 CTD HO sans Silencer Ring, 2" leveler, Triple Dog w/outlook & Crazy Larry.

Last edited by CI2019 : 05-11-2007 at 12:50 PM.

rbmchief · 05-11-2007, 12:43 PM

can we extend that down here to wyoming to?

__________________
02 2500 slt 4x4,auto,icebox cai,silencer ring mia, Quad xzt+,jhook, Pinnacle 4" turbo back exhaust,westach elec fuel guage, isspro transtemp,boost,egt guages in pillar, line x in bed, runnin 2 stroke.

Hut · 05-11-2007, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rbmchief

can we extend that down here to wyoming to?

Hey man the state of Wyoming is your home; who am I to say? If I were you guys I would though.

__________________
2006 2500 SLT Quad Cab 4x4 LWB AT 3.73 Made in U.S.A. 1/06
aFe Stage 2 w/Amsoil EAAU6081, Edge Juice w/attitude, Nelson 86131M, Amsoil
IBEW Tramp Wireman

Danderson · 05-11-2007, 06:24 PM

Excellent,well thought-out post. Hopefully,Jane Fonda,her husband,and other Hollywood types will not spoil your paradise.

__________________
'07 2500 SLT,5.9,reg.cab.,G-56, 4wd,8' Northstar popup 24/7. Lorenz 2.25 SAW w/Carli long travel airbags. AFE Bladerunner. Smarty Sr. Revo.

mtlago · 05-16-2007, 08:35 PM

Hut,
The only changes/additions I would make are as follows:

2. Most of them are "gravel roads", but when you get way out west in the state, you have a lot of miles of just plain old "dirt" (why the hell they didn't gravel them, I don't know).

14. Go Cats!

15. Army "Strong" (3 years) Air Force "Smart" (16 years)

17. Montana's not different, it's home.

19. Amen!

Born and raised in Libby, MT, now at home in Great Falls.

__________________
SEEYA KEV
"Flame Red" 2005 Ram 2500 SLT 4X4 QC, SWB, 3.73s LS, auto, 285/70-17 Cooper Discoverer ATR, "bone stock" drivetrain NRA LIFE MEMBER

Montana Diesel · 05-28-2007, 11:23 PM

i agree with everything said here. i'm out of state right now in a apprenticeship(lineman), but hope to make it back and be able to afford a house and some property now that everything is out of control. it seems like a lot of things have changed since i was a kid.

GottSoot · 06-25-2007, 07:52 PM

Nice Hut! Way to kick some A$$!!

__________________
Billings Mt. Home of the Dirtymax!! 9.46 149MPH

kevin95695 · 06-26-2007, 12:02 PM

I wish Kulleeforneeya was still in America like Montana is.

__________________
'05HO3500qc/sb4xauto4.10icebox/EAAU4091filter/toob/ silencer:MIA 5"pipe w/dynaflex+6"tip edgejuiceattitude+gauges/striker2: Now go put on the helmet.

Danderson · 06-26-2007, 03:32 PM

You've got to love it here in SoCal when using the ATM it asks you to indicate "language of preference". I can see Spanish language speakers punching their language in but it burns my butt to have to punch English in. More liberal p.c. stuff. The only ATM in San Diego that doesn't offer Spanish is on the military base in Pt.Loma.

__________________
'07 2500 SLT,5.9,reg.cab.,G-56, 4wd,8' Northstar popup 24/7. Lorenz 2.25 SAW w/Carli long travel airbags. AFE Bladerunner. Smarty Sr. Revo.

***mojo1578*** · 06-26-2007, 03:44 PM

Leave a light on for me, I'm movin' to Montana...

I'm assuming there's a hose to wash the dust off of my truck...

__________________
2k2 QC 4x4 Graphite:Auto, Phat Shaft 62, Icebox, 6" mitres, Eliminator, Firestorm 150's, HOT Juice w/ Attitude

518/1008

bucket truck · 06-26-2007, 03:45 PM

I think Alabama needs to adopt these laws and strictly enforce them! We'd have to import some grizzlies. Our black bears are very few and far between. Montana is a place and a state of mind I've always wanted to visit. Maybe one day! Yall try and preserve her the best you can til I get there some day.

__________________
2001 extra cab 2500 SLT laramie (dark blue over silver) 4x4 S.O. 55 block, 47re, silencer ring/resonator/muffler are MIA, gauges, big bumper up front, B&W turnover ball, 315 buck shots, and Quadzilla XZT+ (thanks DieselNut)
'89 GMC Sierra SLX 1500 4x4 186K 350TBI w/custom 400 tranny
'06 Freightliner Business Class M2 106 tandem w/lockers,30k# winch, and Altec digger/derrick

05-11-2007, 12:35 PM	#1 (permalink)
Hut Cummins Nut Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Big Sky Country Posts: 313 Hut's Truck Pics	Rules for Entering Montana (Attention California) Rules for Entering MONTANA 1. Pull up your droopy pants. You look like an idiot. 2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road". I drive a pickup truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way. 3. They are horses, cattle, saw mills & oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like jobs to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-90 and I-94 go East and West, I-15 goes North and South. Pick one. 4. So you have a $60,000 dollar car. We're impressed. We have quarter-million dollar, air conditioned tractors that we drive 3 weeks a year. 5. So every person, in every pickup truck, waves. It's called being friendly, try to understand the concept. 6. If that cell phone rings while a flock of geese is coming in, we will shoot the phone out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear. 7. Yeah, we eat walleye & rainbow trout. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop. 8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday, held the closest Sunday to the first of November. 9. In Montana, it is not trendy and is considered very, very unsafe to criticize the USA. God bless John Wayne, Elvis Presley, Audey Murphy, Cary Grant, Charlton Heston, and Jimmy Stewart but the rest of Hollywood is not welcome here. 10. No, there is not a "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey 11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and Alpine Touch. 12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, & served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair. 13. High School Football is as important here as the Vikings and the Seattle Seahawks -- And more fun to watch. 14. Colleges? Try Montana State or the University of Montana. They come out of there with an education--Plus a love for God and country. 15. We have a higher percentage of folks in the Navy, Army, Marines, & Air Force than any other state, so "Don't Mess with Montana." If you do, it will get your backend kicked. 16. Many of us are loggers, mill workers, ranchers & miners. For well over a century, we have helped supply beef for your tables, metals for cars, coal for electricity, wood for your homes & paper to wipe your sissyselves. Don't come here and tell us to stop working so you can re-make the whole State into your own no-hunting park. 17. Remember, you came here because Montana is different. It wil be kept that way. We don't need or want more shopping malls, housing developments or juice bars. 18. Don't try to use your imported money to re-make Montana into the image of where you just left. If you feel this need, go back home. And yes we do hate you for buying up all of our lake-front properties. 19. Above all, if you are a lawyer or anti-gun nut, just stay away. We are very aware of the fact that attorneys have created a major industry, out of lawsuits & babying criminals with guns. We are hunters and responsible gun lovers. 20. P.S.--Grizzlies are eagerly encouraged to eat out-of-staters. __________________ 2006 2500 SLT Quad Cab 4x4 LWB AT 3.73 Made in U.S.A. 1/06 aFe Stage 2 w/Amsoil EAAU6081, Edge Juice w/attitude, Nelson 86131M, Amsoil IBEW Tramp Wireman

05-11-2007, 06:24 PM	#5 (permalink)
Danderson Diesel Freak Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: San Diego,Ca Posts: 882 Danderson's Truck Pics	Right on the money,especially #1 Excellent,well thought-out post. Hopefully,Jane Fonda,her husband,and other Hollywood types will not spoil your paradise. __________________ '07 2500 SLT,5.9,reg.cab.,G-56, 4wd,8' Northstar popup 24/7. Lorenz 2.25 SAW w/Carli long travel airbags. AFE Bladerunner. Smarty Sr. Revo.

06-26-2007, 03:32 PM	#10 (permalink)
Danderson Diesel Freak Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: San Diego,Ca Posts: 882 Danderson's Truck Pics	English optional. You've got to love it here in SoCal when using the ATM it asks you to indicate "language of preference". I can see Spanish language speakers punching their language in but it burns my butt to have to punch English in. More liberal p.c. stuff. The only ATM in San Diego that doesn't offer Spanish is on the military base in Pt.Loma. __________________ '07 2500 SLT,5.9,reg.cab.,G-56, 4wd,8' Northstar popup 24/7. Lorenz 2.25 SAW w/Carli long travel airbags. AFE Bladerunner. Smarty Sr. Revo.

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05-11-2007, 12:40 PM	#2 (permalink)
CI2019 Cummins Fan Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Montana Posts: 63 CI2019's Truck Pics	lol Hut. 21. If you don't like the customs and cultures of Montana, park at the border and walk in. __________________ Jon 2004.5 2500 NV5600 CTD HO sans Silencer Ring, 2" leveler, Triple Dog w/outlook & Crazy Larry. Last edited by CI2019 : 05-11-2007 at 12:50 PM.

05-11-2007, 12:43 PM	#3 (permalink)
rbmchief Super Moderator Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: casper wy Posts: 2,321 rbmchief's Truck Pics	can we extend that down here to wyoming to? __________________ 02 2500 slt 4x4,auto,icebox cai,silencer ring mia, Quad xzt+,jhook, Pinnacle 4" turbo back exhaust,westach elec fuel guage, isspro transtemp,boost,egt guages in pillar, line x in bed, runnin 2 stroke.

05-16-2007, 08:35 PM	#6 (permalink)
mtlago Cummins Fanatic Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Central Montana Posts: 114 mtlago's Truck Pics	Hut, The only changes/additions I would make are as follows: 2. Most of them are "gravel roads", but when you get way out west in the state, you have a lot of miles of just plain old "dirt" (why the hell they didn't gravel them, I don't know). 14. Go Cats! 15. Army "Strong" (3 years) Air Force "Smart" (16 years) 17. Montana's not different, it's home. 19. Amen! Born and raised in Libby, MT, now at home in Great Falls. __________________ SEEYA KEV "Flame Red" 2005 Ram 2500 SLT 4X4 QC, SWB, 3.73s LS, auto, 285/70-17 Cooper Discoverer ATR, "bone stock" drivetrain NRA LIFE MEMBER

05-28-2007, 11:23 PM	#7 (permalink)
Montana Diesel Newbie Join Date: May 2007 Location: anywhere in the northwest Posts: 26 Montana Diesel's Truck Pics	i agree with everything said here. i'm out of state right now in a apprenticeship(lineman), but hope to make it back and be able to afford a house and some property now that everything is out of control. it seems like a lot of things have changed since i was a kid.

06-25-2007, 07:52 PM	#8 (permalink)
GottSoot Cummins Enthusiast Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Montana Posts: 216 GottSoot's Truck Pics	Nice Hut! Way to kick some A$$!! __________________ Billings Mt. Home of the Dirtymax!! 9.46 149MPH

06-26-2007, 12:02 PM	#9 (permalink)
kevin95695 Cummins Enthusiast Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Woodland CA USA Posts: 229 kevin95695's Truck Pics	I wish Kulleeforneeya was still in America like Montana is. __________________ '05HO3500qc/sb4xauto4.10icebox/EAAU4091filter/toob/ silencer:MIA 5"pipe w/dynaflex+6"tip edgejuiceattitude+gauges/striker2: Now go put on the helmet.

06-26-2007, 03:44 PM	#11 (permalink)
*mojo1578* Cummins Whisperer Join Date: May 2006 Location: Lehigh Valley, Pa Posts: 728 mojo1578's Truck Pics	Leave a light on for me, I'm movin' to Montana... I'm assuming there's a hose to wash the dust off of my truck... __________________ 2k2 QC 4x4 Graphite:Auto, Phat Shaft 62, Icebox, 6" mitres, Eliminator, Firestorm 150's, HOT Juice w/ Attitude 518/1008

06-26-2007, 03:45 PM	#12 (permalink)
bucket truck Got Lights? Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Montgomery/Slapout , Alabama Posts: 1,018 bucket truck's Truck Pics	I think Alabama needs to adopt these laws and strictly enforce them! We'd have to import some grizzlies. Our black bears are very few and far between. Montana is a place and a state of mind I've always wanted to visit. Maybe one day! Yall try and preserve her the best you can til I get there some day. __________________ 2001 extra cab 2500 SLT laramie (dark blue over silver) 4x4 S.O. 55 block, 47re, silencer ring/resonator/muffler are MIA, gauges, big bumper up front, B&W turnover ball, 315 buck shots, and Quadzilla XZT+ (thanks DieselNut) '89 GMC Sierra SLX 1500 4x4 186K 350TBI w/custom 400 tranny '06 Freightliner Business Class M2 106 tandem w/lockers,30k# winch, and Altec digger/derrick